Well, next week starts the "official" study system for my Bar Exam. This means, that I will be limiting (or trying to) my online time and also means that I will be leaving you all until my Bar Exam finally finishes up on the 29th of July. I have a LOT of work to do before then! Trust me, after today's study session I have more than a lot. I have TONS.
Remind me why I went to law school again? Oh yeah, to avoid the real world for three more years. Yikes. It bites ya in the ass when it finally catches up!
I am goint to TRY to find some erotica entries in either my mind, or in old archives of things before the weekend so I can put them up easily over the next three weeks so you don't forget about me completely. :-) We shall see. You may only get one...or five...or none, one never knows what I'll find.
Interesting aside: heard from Naughty again. I just don't have the energy to talk about it at the moment. Wasn't bad though. Not truly. It was easy to fall back into talking with him, which I suppose is understandable since we really were great friends for a year and I told him everything during that time. He said he missed that...amongst other things (use your imagination). I can't think about it though, and it wasn't final or un-final really so I don't know what will happen there. I just have to concentrate completely on my studies for one more month. I can do anything well for a month, right? No...I should say that I can do anything well. Period.
I re-read Illusions by Richard Bach and was re-reminded why it is one of my absolute favorite books. It was seriously a needed read. It's philosophy/theology in a way, and I just feel soothed and calmer for having read it. I might re-read it again this month.
Ok, hopefully you will see some erotica up here (it will be here, and not on the Erotica blog so that we don't all get confused when I forget to link the erotica blog) in the next few weeks. W
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Dear Master...
A fun little something that I found going through some old things. Basically, I'm a tad lazy while working on the Bar Exam, so you're just going to get some old stuff that I haven't ever posted. Kind of a fun one. I've been feeling a little dominant lately (trying to be strong for the Bar I think), but this is a bit of a fun change to submission--pretty extreme submission in some parts. Haven't been horny as usual lately, but the stress is hitting me hard this week--officially less than a month until the Big Test. Oy.
Enjoy, you know I hate to leave you all hanging. Just imagine me kneeling, wrists locked behind me, collar on, head bowed in submission, in leather panties, my breasts tight and nipples hard, and explaining what I did for the day. Just a suggestion... :-)
I showered this morning, climbing under the hot stream and letting my own hot stream of piss wash away in the water, imagining you below me and feeling how good it would feel to piss while I squirted all over you. Remembered how sexy it felt that you wanted me to do that during our play this morning. You are so amazing to me Master. *kisses you softly where your chest and neck meet*
I admit, sir, I nearly forgot to not wear panties. I began to take them from my drawer, but remembered before they had even cleared the dresser and I put them back, pulling on a pair of black short and a white tank top, layered with a black tank top. I had to hurry as the interior designer was due to knock on the door in just a few moments. *offers my naked breast to you to suckle*
I met with the designer and then hurried back downstairs to photograph my ass labeled with your mark of "HIS." It wasn't easy, but I marked myself in permanent marker with the word and took a picture. *offers my ass for you to spank, right over the word "HIS"*
I forgot to do one thing though Master. I forgot to spank myself ten times. I'm very sorry sir, I suppose I rushed too quickly through my shower to do it. I will understand if you have to punish me, and I will remember to make myself a list of those things that you ask me to do from now on. No matter how little time I have, I want to please you very badly. If you would like me to take another shower and complete my task I will do that sir. Or I could take my paddle to my backside. I am very sorry again Master.
I'm very wet right now sir. So wet for you right now, just remembering all the things you wanted me to do today. All the things I did...and the one thing I did not do, that I am ashamed to have forgotten. My sex is throbbing for you, wanting you inside of me so much. Needing you inside of me. May I ask you to instruct me when I may swear sir? When I may use dirty words to refer to the things we do to each other? That would excite me. I'm panting just thinking about it. I do not know why it excites me so, but I would like to try that some time if you would be willing.
Enjoy, you know I hate to leave you all hanging. Just imagine me kneeling, wrists locked behind me, collar on, head bowed in submission, in leather panties, my breasts tight and nipples hard, and explaining what I did for the day. Just a suggestion... :-)
I showered this morning, climbing under the hot stream and letting my own hot stream of piss wash away in the water, imagining you below me and feeling how good it would feel to piss while I squirted all over you. Remembered how sexy it felt that you wanted me to do that during our play this morning. You are so amazing to me Master. *kisses you softly where your chest and neck meet*
I admit, sir, I nearly forgot to not wear panties. I began to take them from my drawer, but remembered before they had even cleared the dresser and I put them back, pulling on a pair of black short and a white tank top, layered with a black tank top. I had to hurry as the interior designer was due to knock on the door in just a few moments. *offers my naked breast to you to suckle*
I met with the designer and then hurried back downstairs to photograph my ass labeled with your mark of "HIS." It wasn't easy, but I marked myself in permanent marker with the word and took a picture. *offers my ass for you to spank, right over the word "HIS"*
I forgot to do one thing though Master. I forgot to spank myself ten times. I'm very sorry sir, I suppose I rushed too quickly through my shower to do it. I will understand if you have to punish me, and I will remember to make myself a list of those things that you ask me to do from now on. No matter how little time I have, I want to please you very badly. If you would like me to take another shower and complete my task I will do that sir. Or I could take my paddle to my backside. I am very sorry again Master.
I'm very wet right now sir. So wet for you right now, just remembering all the things you wanted me to do today. All the things I did...and the one thing I did not do, that I am ashamed to have forgotten. My sex is throbbing for you, wanting you inside of me so much. Needing you inside of me. May I ask you to instruct me when I may swear sir? When I may use dirty words to refer to the things we do to each other? That would excite me. I'm panting just thinking about it. I do not know why it excites me so, but I would like to try that some time if you would be willing.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Happy 2nd Blogiversary!
Today is by second blogiversary! I didn't realize this until yesterday when I saw that my dear A. Secret had just had her second blogiversary! Happy Blogiversary A. Secret! Thank you so much to my dear, dear readers, who make writing this worth it. Especially, Riff Dog, The Naughty One, Clem, JC (that isn't Jesus Christ), JH, A. Secret as mentioned above, Miss Belle, Shay, Eddie, and probably a few dozen others that I know I'm forgetting, but those are some of the people who have been there since the beginning or close to and stayed with me through it all. Thanks to you all for being such sexy men and women!
I have an erotica entry to put up, just in celebration, but I'm going to post it on here AND on the Erotica blog in celebration of the day. I remember when I started writing, thinking things were going one place, and I really ended up getting even more out of this than I ever thought. I'm still pretty proud of how far I've come in this whole thing, even though I've really fallen off on posting regularly. I'm guessing that is going to continue for awhile, just because of studying for my Bar Exam (which is seriously doing a number on my libido! Either I'm horny as hell all the time or can't even imagine getting off!).
HOWEVER...I do quite like the scene that I've written up--you know how I love discussing and writing about blow jobs, and it is exactly what it is about. For your enjoyment:
I can hear the groans coming from the other room when I walk in the door. It's so silent, the air conditioner off, the noises from the street blocked out by the walls. All I hear is the clock steadily ticking, the soft tick-tock-tick practically keeping time to the occasional moan on the other side of the half-closed bathroom door. I silently remove my shoes and silently shut the door. I silently place my purse on the floor. And just as silently I remove my shirt, because I know that groan. I can practically smell the sex mixed in with the spicy sent of his bodywash eminating from the bathroom. I'm left in only my bright blue bra and jeans. I didn't even wear panties that day, because I'd just shaved myself smooth that morning and wanted the feel of the hard seam of the jeans teasing my clit while I walk.
My bare feet pad across the cool ceramic tiles of the floor until I can see into the steamy bathroom in the crack in the door. He's stroking himself, but it's practically unconsciously. One hand is running a comb through his hair, that's just a little too long because he hasn't had it cut in awhile. The other is stroking his cock, the hardness pushing straight up to rest against his belly whenever he's not touching it. I can see how rigid it is, and I lick my lips in anticipation. My clit is already throbbing. I love watching him cum from his own hand. Sometimes it is almost better than anything, and the voyeuristic bent right now is driving me wild, making me feel like a stranger watching something I shouldn't be, but unable to turn away. He stops stroking, and puts his contacts in. He starts again, and I feel my fingers fumble on the button of my jeans, releasing it and then as silently as I can pulling my zipper down tooth by tooth. One hand strokes while the other dries his chest, then his hair, with his towel. It's like stroking his shaft is just part of his morning ritual. He doesn't even seem to notice, until suddenly his stomach clenches and he seems to shudder with another groan. He watches himself for a moment, as though just realizing what he is doing, but then he continues to ready himself for the rest of the day. After another few minutes he is finished with his routine, and he automatically stops jerking on his glorious, hard cock. I almost whimper in disappointment, and push the door open. I need more.
"Don't stop on my account," I tell him, and he looks up in surprise. Part of me wants to touch him, to wrap him in my arms from behind and take over the job, but right now I need to watch. He gets that devilish look in his eye, and his hand takes the towel and begins rubbing non-existent water from his chest.
"This?" he asks, and I nearly growl. But I can play that game too, and I push my jeans down my legs and kick them off. The towel drops.
"No," I say, and let my fingers wander down my stomach and over the soft smoothness of my pussy, dipping dangerously into my went cunt just for his eyes. His hand returns to his cock then, and he gives in just like that. He knows I love to watch.
His hand moves slowly, up and down his shaft, langorous in his movements and it drives me crazy, so I spread my legs between the door frame and finger my clit, groaning out as much for effect as for actual need. His hand moves faster then, and I see the precum begin to leak from the tip, making my mouth water and my head reel with the desire to lick every inch of his body--starting right at the tip of his cock. I encourage him by playing with myself and his fingers start to move faster, stopping every so often to spread the precum around the tip of his cock and making me shake with need. I want his fingers on me, in me. In every hole in my body until I'm screaming and cumming, but I want his cum so much more.
I stop my fingers, even though I'm so close to cumming, and step across the room. "Not good enough," I whisper, before I'm on my knees, my fingers raking down his back to his ass and pulling his cock into my mouth in one smooth movement. His hips flex and he pushes all the way into my throat. I can practically feel in him my cunt while he's in my mouth, feel him pumping in and out of both holes, and I pull one hand from his ass, where I have him grasped against me as hard and as far as I can get him into my body. I cup his balls, feel them pull tighter to his body, as I pull back finally and let my teeth very lightly scrape along the underside, then letting my tongue flick against that tip just at the back of the head of his cock--letting it press harder, and pushing one finger just barely into his ass...
Then he's cumming and I'm drinking him down. Feeling him cumming in my mouth as well as the phantom feel of him cumming deep in my cunt. The feeling is too much and I start to drown in my own orgasm. I'm screaming and choking around his cum spewing down my throat and his hands are on my head while he groans so loud and I'm fairly sure neighbors in three counties can hear him. I collapse farther on the floor, swallowing all his hot cum, and leaving his cock in my mouth, just where I want it.
He lets his cock sit there in my slutty mouth, and he is half collapsed against the shower door. His cock is going soft, nearly flaccid now, but I look up at him as he looks down, still sucking on his cock like a lollipop and I feel harden.
"Again..." he demands.
Who am I to deny him?
I have an erotica entry to put up, just in celebration, but I'm going to post it on here AND on the Erotica blog in celebration of the day. I remember when I started writing, thinking things were going one place, and I really ended up getting even more out of this than I ever thought. I'm still pretty proud of how far I've come in this whole thing, even though I've really fallen off on posting regularly. I'm guessing that is going to continue for awhile, just because of studying for my Bar Exam (which is seriously doing a number on my libido! Either I'm horny as hell all the time or can't even imagine getting off!).
HOWEVER...I do quite like the scene that I've written up--you know how I love discussing and writing about blow jobs, and it is exactly what it is about. For your enjoyment:
I can hear the groans coming from the other room when I walk in the door. It's so silent, the air conditioner off, the noises from the street blocked out by the walls. All I hear is the clock steadily ticking, the soft tick-tock-tick practically keeping time to the occasional moan on the other side of the half-closed bathroom door. I silently remove my shoes and silently shut the door. I silently place my purse on the floor. And just as silently I remove my shirt, because I know that groan. I can practically smell the sex mixed in with the spicy sent of his bodywash eminating from the bathroom. I'm left in only my bright blue bra and jeans. I didn't even wear panties that day, because I'd just shaved myself smooth that morning and wanted the feel of the hard seam of the jeans teasing my clit while I walk.
My bare feet pad across the cool ceramic tiles of the floor until I can see into the steamy bathroom in the crack in the door. He's stroking himself, but it's practically unconsciously. One hand is running a comb through his hair, that's just a little too long because he hasn't had it cut in awhile. The other is stroking his cock, the hardness pushing straight up to rest against his belly whenever he's not touching it. I can see how rigid it is, and I lick my lips in anticipation. My clit is already throbbing. I love watching him cum from his own hand. Sometimes it is almost better than anything, and the voyeuristic bent right now is driving me wild, making me feel like a stranger watching something I shouldn't be, but unable to turn away. He stops stroking, and puts his contacts in. He starts again, and I feel my fingers fumble on the button of my jeans, releasing it and then as silently as I can pulling my zipper down tooth by tooth. One hand strokes while the other dries his chest, then his hair, with his towel. It's like stroking his shaft is just part of his morning ritual. He doesn't even seem to notice, until suddenly his stomach clenches and he seems to shudder with another groan. He watches himself for a moment, as though just realizing what he is doing, but then he continues to ready himself for the rest of the day. After another few minutes he is finished with his routine, and he automatically stops jerking on his glorious, hard cock. I almost whimper in disappointment, and push the door open. I need more.
"Don't stop on my account," I tell him, and he looks up in surprise. Part of me wants to touch him, to wrap him in my arms from behind and take over the job, but right now I need to watch. He gets that devilish look in his eye, and his hand takes the towel and begins rubbing non-existent water from his chest.
"This?" he asks, and I nearly growl. But I can play that game too, and I push my jeans down my legs and kick them off. The towel drops.
"No," I say, and let my fingers wander down my stomach and over the soft smoothness of my pussy, dipping dangerously into my went cunt just for his eyes. His hand returns to his cock then, and he gives in just like that. He knows I love to watch.
His hand moves slowly, up and down his shaft, langorous in his movements and it drives me crazy, so I spread my legs between the door frame and finger my clit, groaning out as much for effect as for actual need. His hand moves faster then, and I see the precum begin to leak from the tip, making my mouth water and my head reel with the desire to lick every inch of his body--starting right at the tip of his cock. I encourage him by playing with myself and his fingers start to move faster, stopping every so often to spread the precum around the tip of his cock and making me shake with need. I want his fingers on me, in me. In every hole in my body until I'm screaming and cumming, but I want his cum so much more.
I stop my fingers, even though I'm so close to cumming, and step across the room. "Not good enough," I whisper, before I'm on my knees, my fingers raking down his back to his ass and pulling his cock into my mouth in one smooth movement. His hips flex and he pushes all the way into my throat. I can practically feel in him my cunt while he's in my mouth, feel him pumping in and out of both holes, and I pull one hand from his ass, where I have him grasped against me as hard and as far as I can get him into my body. I cup his balls, feel them pull tighter to his body, as I pull back finally and let my teeth very lightly scrape along the underside, then letting my tongue flick against that tip just at the back of the head of his cock--letting it press harder, and pushing one finger just barely into his ass...
Then he's cumming and I'm drinking him down. Feeling him cumming in my mouth as well as the phantom feel of him cumming deep in my cunt. The feeling is too much and I start to drown in my own orgasm. I'm screaming and choking around his cum spewing down my throat and his hands are on my head while he groans so loud and I'm fairly sure neighbors in three counties can hear him. I collapse farther on the floor, swallowing all his hot cum, and leaving his cock in my mouth, just where I want it.
He lets his cock sit there in my slutty mouth, and he is half collapsed against the shower door. His cock is going soft, nearly flaccid now, but I look up at him as he looks down, still sucking on his cock like a lollipop and I feel harden.
"Again..." he demands.
Who am I to deny him?
Monday, June 8, 2009
New Erotica Post Today
There is a new erotica post up today. Something I found among some old documents that I hadn't posted. A little dirty, but we always love those don't we? :-) Hopefully I'll run across some more to post up too!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Fucking the Babysitter...and other fun porn searches
So, for a couple years a was a bit fan of e-books. I'm still a fan, but I don't buy them as much as I do regular books. I like to have the tangible. But one of the e-books I purchased was "Babysitting for the Baumgarten's" by Selena Kitt. She writes really amazing erotica if you haven't heard of her. I purchased the book after reading an excerpt. You can find the first few chapters here. Seriously...so, so, so hot. Those first few chapters barely do it justice it is so good. I recommend a purchase if you're into that sort of thing.
It is one of my staples for masturbation actually. And that brings me to my own relationship with porn.
See, I'm a pretty visual girl. I get turned on by all my senses, but I really do love the ease of watching porn. In fact, I would be willing to bet that I watch as much porn as any of the guys out there. Seriously. Lately though, I just haven't been able to easily find what I want to watch and haven't really been able to decide what I want to watch anyway. Usually I go through times of really loving one thing--office sex, creampies, glory holes, whatever. But I've been looking at lots of different things because I can't find enough of the amateur stuff that I like. The pro stuff is fine and all, but I really prefer to see actual everyday people fucking or sucking or creaming. Today alone, with two separate instances of getting off, I looked at bareback gay porn, gloryholes, anal, creampie, Daddy Dom (which pretty much only brings up gay porn in the places I'm looking, or pro--which has not been good), and office. Oh, and prostate massage jack offs. Yeah, just a little bit diverse there. I just couldn't find what I really wanted to watch, so I decided that perhaps I should be reading something since I can't find what I'm looking for.
Creampies are my standard usually, in any way I can find them, but since YouPorn went to almost entirely professional (at least that I can find--all my absolute favorites are no longer there and it saddens me! Except the double pussy penetration that is just fabulous on there), I have a tough time finding really good ones. The best part is hearing a guy cumming deep inside a woman's pussy, and seeing the base of his cock right outside of her pussy pulsing hard as he cums...holy crap. Apparently I'm going to have to cum three times (or four) today.
So, I went back to Selena's story today (and nearly panicked cause I couldn't find the password right away for it), and read and read and read. Frankly, I played with myself for nearly fifty minutes before coming because it felt so fabulous imagining each of the scenes with me being in either of the female positions. Made me like the idea of a threesome (and I don't think I'm giving too much away there) all the more. Haha. I'm literally getting wet again thinking of the erotic and amazing scenes that are in that book. Like dripping, and might have to go and cum again even though I just came thirty minutes ago.
Can you tell I'm in a terribly horny mood? Like beyond turned on from nothing at all. I've even been feeling a bit more likely to write some erotica again, as it has been more than six months since I have posted anything in that regard. I won't promise anything, but some things have been mulling around in my mind.
So...okay, talking about it is just turning me on more. I'm going to go get off. :-)
It is one of my staples for masturbation actually. And that brings me to my own relationship with porn.
See, I'm a pretty visual girl. I get turned on by all my senses, but I really do love the ease of watching porn. In fact, I would be willing to bet that I watch as much porn as any of the guys out there. Seriously. Lately though, I just haven't been able to easily find what I want to watch and haven't really been able to decide what I want to watch anyway. Usually I go through times of really loving one thing--office sex, creampies, glory holes, whatever. But I've been looking at lots of different things because I can't find enough of the amateur stuff that I like. The pro stuff is fine and all, but I really prefer to see actual everyday people fucking or sucking or creaming. Today alone, with two separate instances of getting off, I looked at bareback gay porn, gloryholes, anal, creampie, Daddy Dom (which pretty much only brings up gay porn in the places I'm looking, or pro--which has not been good), and office. Oh, and prostate massage jack offs. Yeah, just a little bit diverse there. I just couldn't find what I really wanted to watch, so I decided that perhaps I should be reading something since I can't find what I'm looking for.
Creampies are my standard usually, in any way I can find them, but since YouPorn went to almost entirely professional (at least that I can find--all my absolute favorites are no longer there and it saddens me! Except the double pussy penetration that is just fabulous on there), I have a tough time finding really good ones. The best part is hearing a guy cumming deep inside a woman's pussy, and seeing the base of his cock right outside of her pussy pulsing hard as he cums...holy crap. Apparently I'm going to have to cum three times (or four) today.
So, I went back to Selena's story today (and nearly panicked cause I couldn't find the password right away for it), and read and read and read. Frankly, I played with myself for nearly fifty minutes before coming because it felt so fabulous imagining each of the scenes with me being in either of the female positions. Made me like the idea of a threesome (and I don't think I'm giving too much away there) all the more. Haha. I'm literally getting wet again thinking of the erotic and amazing scenes that are in that book. Like dripping, and might have to go and cum again even though I just came thirty minutes ago.
Can you tell I'm in a terribly horny mood? Like beyond turned on from nothing at all. I've even been feeling a bit more likely to write some erotica again, as it has been more than six months since I have posted anything in that regard. I won't promise anything, but some things have been mulling around in my mind.
So...okay, talking about it is just turning me on more. I'm going to go get off. :-)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Beat that, Victoria's Secret
Well, okay. So, Victoria's Secret probably could beat that, but I still think they are hot. And look at that cute little areola, just peeking out to say, "Hi" in the last one. Maybe you'll get actual nipple next time. :-)
As you can see I was in a rather generous (and I don't mean my breasts) mood tonight. I just got a whole bunch of new bras....okay, so I got three, and you see two here, but still. I was so enamored, especially of the red one, that I just decided I had to take pictures of them! And hence the little fashion show of breasts right there. Did you guys even NOTICE the bras?
I actually got pretty turned on by the whole process. I hadn't felt much like taking pictures in a long, long, long time and so suddenly I'm kind of feeling frisky. Randy. Horny. (Insert word here). Pretty sure I'm going to go play with my clit as soon as I'm done writing this. No, you can't have pictures of that. Although, you can always dream that in the near future I'll feel extra frisky and will get a few pictures out to you.
Had a weird day last week...Naughty logged on about an hour after I'd written my blog post last week. Weirdly enough, that was the only time in the last four months that I hadn't called him a swear word, so maybe that says something. Or, I suppose he just wasn't scared of me anymore. Still not sure how I feel about the whole thing. It was a little surreal, mostly because it was just small-talk. We talked about television shows and Barack Obama.
..... *crickets*
Pretty much my reaction too. My curiosity was piqued, because I found the whole thing weird, and just sort of odd timing. My friends of course threw out any number of possibilities as to why he would suddenly come online after four months (or at least be online so that I could see him), some more sinister than others, but I don't even know that I want to think about it at the moment. I think I'm just at the point of, if he contacts me again, he does and I'll just deal with anything as it comes. Isn't that all I can do anyway?
Okay, I'm off to masturbate, because damn it, I'm horny as hell. But that is what happens this time of the month. I don't know why, I just get insanely horny all the time. Plus, the lingerie show turned me on even more accidentally. :-)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Giving up on 2009
I had a very nice email froma fan of the blog a couple days ago, hoping and asking for more posts from me, and more pictures too. Well, I do like to try and oblige, so here is one that I don't believe I have posted before. It isn't new, but it is a pretty good one:
Just a little spanking one there. You can see the red mark I know from the paddle I have. Ouch!
As far as posts...well, I have many thoughts that have been running through my head about what to post, but none of them have been particularly sexy and I feel like I owe you guys some sexiness. I just haven't been feeling my sexy self. I'm definitely not saying I won't be, but I'm sort of thining of redesigning a little, maybe re-focusing a little on just the day to day. It will be probably awhile before I'm back to regular posting--although that is at least partially due to the fact that now that I've graduated, I've enter my prep course for the Bar Exam! Ewwwww! Everyday this week for 6 hours a day, just in class, and starting next week it will be about everyday about six hours with class and regular study time everyday. Seriously, ew.
Now, what else have I been up to? Well, I have decided that as far as my experiences with the male half of the population 2009 is a wash. yeah, only six months in and I'm quite over the men of my life. Well, my dad, brother, and nephew are still okay, but the rest of them close to me? Yep, total idiots.
We of course have the Naughty debacle (which I think I have even been able to half decide had its benefits, even the breakup part cause he just wasn't the guy for me), but then...my best guy friend managed to disappoint me and really sort of break my heart at graduation. He told me he was coming to my graduation party...and then didn't show up. Now, I don't mind if someone decides not to come to my party, but to say THAT MORNING that you'll be there? And then not only didn't he call to say he couldn't make it, but he didn't call me for two days until after he had asked half a dozen people if I'd been upset. I'm still actually really hurt by it, even though he's apologized a number of times and said he'd make it up to me. I think at this point he thinks he's off the hook since he has talked to me about it.
I'm also about ready to give up on Ingrid too. I refuse to bring up the mess that is still going on with her not-really-boyfriend, who really isn't her boyfriend, but who is still acting up. Something new has happened, but she said she won't tell me for a couple weeks until she gets back from her trip. Fine, as long as it isn't something death-worthy I can't really be bothered. Also, she said something interesting to me that really upset me when we were out one night. She was drunk, and was talking about one of our friens and how he said that there are people who have been "here" (which is low, in life) and then people who have been "way down here" (which represents a low that no one else could even imagine) and that Ingrid has been "way down here." But in between her explaining what the "way down here" was and her saying that he had told her she had been there, she turns to me and says, "And by the way, you haven't been down here," meaning at the lowest level. Now, I do know her shit. I know that she has certainly had some low moments, but frankly I don't talk about much of anything having to do with me. I mean, part of that is cause she can seriously talk and I'm more of a listener, but that she presumed to tell me that I could have never been where she's been? I nearly left her right there I was so offended that she would presume that. I don't feel the need to talk excessively about every low moment of my life, because I just have no real desire to relive my lowest moments and I don't think they are anyone's business--even my best friends. Paige and Laney lived through some of them, so they do know, but I'm pretty quiet about most of my life. Ingrid doesn't even know a quarter of what I felt about the Naughty thing.
I'm just in a bit of a funk really about my friends. The Ingrid thing happened weeks ago and it still really upsets me, and so does the thing with Kaj (that's who didn't show up) even though that was almost two weeks ago now too. Now I'm totally wary of even dealing with Kaj or relying on him for anything at all, and I'm not in nearly as much contact with Ingrid as usual. I'm sort of feeling like going into my hole.
Plus I'm PMSing, so you know it's an extra good week. :-)
I know, not sexy at all, but you're going to have to just deal with the picture for now! :-)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Polyamory and Same-Sex Marriage for Finals!
So, I figure a final really just has to have rocked when I actually use the argument that the super conservatives who are against gay marriage and think that it is "just one step away from multiple-person marriage and polyamory in the civil system" should actually be SUPPORTING polyamory since they seem to think that marriage is all about making babies...what was the actual reasoning? Well, if you've got two men in a marriage with a woman, or two women in a marriage with a man, there is twice the probability that SOMEONE will be getting pregnant!
Yes. Yes, I actually did use that reasoning on my family law final today. It was a policy question on same-sex marriage that some Dr. Cere said same-sex marriage being accepted means that polygamy acceptance is right around the corner. Whatever, I'm not a lesbian and won't be marrying a woman, and I'm not into sharing, so I won't be marrying two people...but really, I don't think it is the government's business if I want to or not. I always find it so amusing that the conservatives generally think that we should have less and less government interference, but when it comes to abortion and gay marriage suddenly the State's can have all the interest they want in everyone's business.
I also got to argue for gay marriage in a case-law way. He actually had TONS on gay marriage on our Family Law final today. I'm guessing this is because it has so recently been in the news with Iowa (which, I have been so mired in finals that I didn't even know about it until about two days ago).
As for my "hissy fit" from the last post, it was probably a little passive-aggressive, but thanks to the people who wrote in support of me taking as much time as I need and also thanks to those who wrote to apologize for telling me to get over it already. I'm almost there, closer than I was a month ago (really, it's been a month since I wrote!), but still just getting past that little extra push. I think I'm actually over the Naughty part of it for the most part, but I'm not quite back to my self-confidence that I was at before him and during him. That I think is always a much slower process. I mean, my sex drive is just so not up where it normally is!
I haven't checked blogs in F-O-R-E-V-E-R and have been totally neglectful of emails. I do apologize, but stick with me for a few more weeks until both finals and my GRADUATION (!) are out of the way. I know, crazy. The end of about 21 years of education. Okay, so I'll have one more, but still...it's a milestone for sure. My brother and nephew are even coming up. :-) I'm very excited for that.
Hope all is well out there in cyberworld!
xoxo
Yes. Yes, I actually did use that reasoning on my family law final today. It was a policy question on same-sex marriage that some Dr. Cere said same-sex marriage being accepted means that polygamy acceptance is right around the corner. Whatever, I'm not a lesbian and won't be marrying a woman, and I'm not into sharing, so I won't be marrying two people...but really, I don't think it is the government's business if I want to or not. I always find it so amusing that the conservatives generally think that we should have less and less government interference, but when it comes to abortion and gay marriage suddenly the State's can have all the interest they want in everyone's business.
I also got to argue for gay marriage in a case-law way. He actually had TONS on gay marriage on our Family Law final today. I'm guessing this is because it has so recently been in the news with Iowa (which, I have been so mired in finals that I didn't even know about it until about two days ago).
As for my "hissy fit" from the last post, it was probably a little passive-aggressive, but thanks to the people who wrote in support of me taking as much time as I need and also thanks to those who wrote to apologize for telling me to get over it already. I'm almost there, closer than I was a month ago (really, it's been a month since I wrote!), but still just getting past that little extra push. I think I'm actually over the Naughty part of it for the most part, but I'm not quite back to my self-confidence that I was at before him and during him. That I think is always a much slower process. I mean, my sex drive is just so not up where it normally is!
I haven't checked blogs in F-O-R-E-V-E-R and have been totally neglectful of emails. I do apologize, but stick with me for a few more weeks until both finals and my GRADUATION (!) are out of the way. I know, crazy. The end of about 21 years of education. Okay, so I'll have one more, but still...it's a milestone for sure. My brother and nephew are even coming up. :-) I'm very excited for that.
Hope all is well out there in cyberworld!
xoxo
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Annoyance...
Okay, ya'll know I adore you for reading and putting up with me, but can we cut out the emails telling me to get over Naughty already? I got a few today indicating, "Why are you still hung up on this?"
Um...I am aware that for you, not having to feel the feelings and everything, that maybe this is getting a little old, but hello? It is heartbreak for a reason, broken hearts don't just get a little glue and they are good as new. I am at about the 98% point here, this is amazing, since I was probably at about 68% point before I left. It was a year+ of my life, that's a lot to grieve for. I still grieve for dogs that died years ago! YEARS! I'm just sort of that type of girl, it takes me a bit.
I'll try and minimize the talk, but it might still take me a bit to get to that 2% done. That bruised ego still stands in the way...so no more from ya'll about just-get-over-it-already, and I'll try my best to say no more about it either, and suffer in silence if need be, deal? Great.
Sorry, in a bad mood. Excessive homework does that to me.
Um...I am aware that for you, not having to feel the feelings and everything, that maybe this is getting a little old, but hello? It is heartbreak for a reason, broken hearts don't just get a little glue and they are good as new. I am at about the 98% point here, this is amazing, since I was probably at about 68% point before I left. It was a year+ of my life, that's a lot to grieve for. I still grieve for dogs that died years ago! YEARS! I'm just sort of that type of girl, it takes me a bit.
I'll try and minimize the talk, but it might still take me a bit to get to that 2% done. That bruised ego still stands in the way...so no more from ya'll about just-get-over-it-already, and I'll try my best to say no more about it either, and suffer in silence if need be, deal? Great.
Sorry, in a bad mood. Excessive homework does that to me.
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