Road-trip...?

I love Ingrid and Cha-Cha, I truly do. And I'm (somewhat) excited to be going on this roadtrip that we start on Friday morning...but I admit to having some reservations. My parents might have something to do with the bit of pessimissm and worry that I'm feeling because they are pointing out all the things that could happen that could serious put a strain on my friendship with Ingrid and Cha-Cha...things that both Ingrid and Cha-Cha tend to do that drive me nutso. Cha-Cha and I tried to talk to Ingrid about our plans--i.e., planning where the hell we are going to STAY! I'm just not one of those people who is going to pick a random hotel whenever I get wherever I am going. Not happening. Plus, I have to fly home, which means I have to actually get a ticket. Ingrid has zero problem getting a ticket the day before. I do not work that way.

Ingrid got pissed that we had to plan this stuff out. She thought that because we had planned the day we were leaving that was good enough. Uhhhhh...no. At least Cha-Cha managed to do a little planning with me, but Ingrid was basically worthless. She also hasn't unpacked her car. At all. It is stuffed full of stuff. She can't shut her trunk. Even her passenger seat is full of crap. This means, she has only tomorrow to organize all of this stuff. The last time she had to do this, she had to postpone her trip home by 5 days. I've given up on helping her, I'm too pissed that she isn't taking this seriously at all. Frankly, I don't think she wants to move. Now she's actually speaking to her ex again. I don't even want to discuss that because it is ridiculous, but she has basically been languishing for four months talking about this guy and how much she is still in love with him. It's a little bit like talking to a domestic abuse victim. She feels the need to defend him at the same time that she is completely hurt and disappointed in him.

I'm ridiculously frustrated by her. She tells me to relax constantly about this trip. It's like she's never freaking met me before. I told Ingrid that we need to leave Friday or I don't go, I've just bought a $100 ticket now, so if we don't leave Friday I've just lost $100. She thinks it is just fine to go whenever and not worry about it. If we had no schedule, if I had to be nowhere and we were just going to sightsee, then whatever. Doesn't matter when we leave, we can just pick up and go and that would be fun. But this is not some four hour trip, or even just a fun girls trip. If we hadn't made plans with people in two different cities for the nights we are on the road then we could have dealt with going whenever, but we have made plans in two different cities for Friday and Saturday night. Ingrid constantly says how much she hates that she is always late to things, but never actually attempts to change it. I'm not entirely sure why she thinks it is so damned offensive that I have the requirement of leaving on time, but apparently she does. She's never given the impression that she CAN leave on time, so why she is surprised I am bugging her about it is beyond me. Cha-Cha at least gets that I need to leave on time, that it is just part of my DNA really, but Ingrid just thinks I'm being ridiculous.

I'm a little concerned that by the end of this I will want to take her head off, and she will want to take mine off frankly. If she doesn't want to leave, that's freaking great! I don't want her to leave, but if she wants to leave and wants me to go with her, then I don't think it is ridiculous to try and compromise to fit everyone's comfort level. We're moving her, but as far as I'm concerned she's being completely self-absorbed and expecting us to say, "How high?" when she says, "Jump." I'm not her bitch!

Ugh. I'm so anxious about this thing, and so annoyed right now that I've barely even been playing with myself. Tonight I am going to get off, just because I won't have a chance again until the 12th of October. Whoa. That's the longest forced abstinence I think I've ever had. Even when I did study abroad, and lived in the same room as four other girls, I managed to get enough alone time to get off. Don't think that will be happening this time around. Damn.

Wish me luck. I know I'm boring on here lately. I do apologize for that. Maybe I'll write some erotica on the road, since I'll be so frustrated. :-)

Friends with an Ex?

I think I'm in a funk, which is part of the reason I haven't been around. I'm a little depressed about Ingrid leaving (she is heading out in a couple weeks, but is now visiting her parents in the next state until then--then she, I, and Cha-Cha are all going to drive down to Florida together and spend a few days, which will be really fun), and just in a funk in general from having no real job and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I've been rethinking if estate planning is my thing, or if I might want to do International law more. It's certainly a scarier prospect, but I might take the Foreign Service Exam and the Civil Service Exam to keep my options open.

Onto the title of this post--I have talked to Naughty a couple of times, at length, in the past month. He and his ex have ended things officially now, and I can't exactly say I'm surprised. In my experience, getting back with an ex rarely ends well for either one of the parties. Some people can make it happen, but if things end poorly? Or one of them wasn't happy the first time around? It's not going to happen for the long term. In the first case, trust goes completely out the window. In my own case with Naughty, it clearly ended VERY poorly. I was pretty heartbroken for awhile there, and I did hate him, but I got over that. I don't know that if the situation presented itself though I would ever trust him in a relationship again. It isn't because he's a bad guy, because as much as I did question every single thing about our relationship from the time he moved back to help her get back on her feet, I don't think he intentionally led me on and I do think he is a pretty decent guy overall. I think he really did try to not care about her in a romantic way, but I will hardly delude myself and say that he didn't handle the situation pretty damned poorly and that I was fairly foolish in letting things drag out last summer when I should have left him alone at the time. You just don't move to another country (even if that country is home) to take care of a female you used to date if there isn't a fairly serious hope of getting back together.

In the second case (that's "one not being happy the first time around" for those of you who can't follow my rants--which is probably most of you, haha, I know I babble), I just don't think people fundamentally change no matter how much you want them to or try to change them. Or how much they say they will for you. Even the changes that come with growing up and just getting older? No, I think we are fairly set in our ways by about 21. Of course that changes for each person, but I think most people are too comfortable by that point to go changing much.

So, the question is--can you be friends with an ex? I've felt like Naughty and I have had mostly friendly conversations (ok, I admit we did cyber both times we talked, but it was usually right before I had to leave, so it ended up being only a single orgasm--and I happened to be horny! Having someone on the other side is definitely tough not to miss!). Do I know if I want to start up anything regular again with him (regular meaning: talking/cybering, and NOT an actual relationship)? I don't know really yet. I don't easily forget my past with people, so a relationship is not likely at all, because of the trust issue. Friendship or friends with occasional benefits? Maybe. I don't know if HE is ready for that though either. Too easy to mistake friends for more when you're broken up about a break-up.

Only one of my friend's, that I know of, has actually stayed friends with an ex-boyfriend (actually with two exes) within only a year of ending things. Others have needed a whole lot of time before it seemed to be okay for things to be completely friendly without the awkward tension. And the one friend and her exes? The guys are/were, respectively, 1) still in love with her for a long time until he met his current wife, and 2) is STILL in love with her, even though he is married to someone else. She's finally realized this and has mostly had to stop talking to him because his wife is not exactly comfortable with the situation--even though my friend is madly, insanely in love with her hubby and actually hasn't been in love with the ex since a couple months after they broke up.

This doesn't exactly bode well for people who try to be friends after ending things. Do I think I can be friends with Naughty? Maybe. I think it is a hell of a lot easier now when I know my feelings of love for him have diminished to a platonic love. I'm not much of a piner anymore. I think I was in high school--ok, I KNOW I was in high school--but I think I have realized I deserve a hell of a lot better than to pine for someone anymore. Plus, because we never met in person and don't live anywhere near each other so we won't be randomly running into each other, that is helpful in keeping perspective at this point.

He asked me whether or not I feel "obligated" to speak to him when I am online. I must have been a bit short with him when he was on or something. I thought about it for a few seconds, because I wanted to be honest to myself about whether or not I felt obligated, and I don't. If I never wanted to speak to him again, I would have removed him from my friend list or would always be invisible to him, at least. The only thing I felt a little bit weird about in our two talks was that it felt a little too much like I was right there when he and his ex ended things (although we didn't talk until more than a week after), and I didn't want him thinking things would jump back to where we had been now that he'd ended things. As far as I know I made it fairly clear that when he went back to her, he chose her and I was no longer an option (ok, ok, so the cyber sex perhaps muddled things a little in that regard!) and wouldn't be waiting around. It really was my fault in terms of being right there though, since I did mostly initiate the cybering with him that first time. Oops. :-/

I don't regret talking to him. I don't regret cybering with him. And I will undoubtedly talk to him in the future. I like to think that I gave him someone to talk to about his situation, which I can tell he's still pretty upset about and a little embarrassed that he went through the situation in the first place. He still, very obviously, cares about her a lot (probably loves her a lot, although he didn't use that word), even though he's angry. I know what that's like, of course. Is it probably a little fucked up that I'm talking with him about the girl that he dumped me for? Ehhhhhhhhh...yeah probably. But no matter how much I think about it, I can't be angry at him anymore, and even my pride has rebounded to where it was before the whole situation went down. I feel bad he had to learn that the hard way, but I do think it was the best in the long run. As much as I had wanted it to work at the time, I really don't think it would have in the long run. Neither of our parents were happy about the situation, and as much as we would probably both say that we don't care what our parents think--we do, and if he didn't, I probably wouldn't have been with him as long as I was. And the distance? 5000+ miles is no small feat, and it would have been at least 2 years before I could have been there or really anywhere long term. As many times as I offered to come visit him, his enthusiasm never exactly reached the "ecstatic" mark that it should have, which I think is a decent indicator that we weren't where we should have been after that much time and after nearly a year? He should have been ready as I was--and maybe he would have if she hadn't come back on the scene, but we'll never know, and it is good I think. I would have regretted that trip once he left.

I don't know what his thoughts have been on the whole thing really--maybe he's thinking we were going to go back to the way things were, maybe he really just wants a friend. I just think I needed to write this out to myself. Ingrid pretty much hates his guts, as do Laney and Paige, for his past transgressions (as is there duty as friends really--just like I hate their exes, and trust me some of those guys deserve it way more than Naughty), so they are hardly going to encourage friendship with him.

PLEASE weigh in...I know at least some of you will look at both sides, no matter how much you adore me. ;-) Have you been friends with an ex? How do you NOT muddle things for the other person? Other than probably not cybering...cause really, that's muddle central, isn't it? I don't feel as though I'm in trouble of muddling, but one never knows I guess.

Pregnancy on the Brain

Now, here is a classic example of why a parent may tell their child to stay a virgin until marriage: Kaj and Ingrid.

I love these two, don't get me wrong, they are fabulous to me, they love me unconditionally, but Christ almighty were they dumb recently. They've slept together on-and-off whenever they have both been unattached, for going on two years now. This summer, both have been unattached and so they took up sleeping together for the last two months approximately. Here's the dumb part:

This weekend they didn't use a condom.

You say, "Rae! I am surprised at you! The queen of loving creampie porn thinks not wearing a condom to be a problem?" Hold your gasping and confusion, because Ingrid isn't on birth control. Not only that, they both got "The Feeling" as I have come to call it. Both sort of looked at each other afterwards and said, "Uh...I feel like we literally just made a baby." Strong, weird-ass feeling that conception had literally just occured. My mom had this with both me and my brother--instantaneous knowing that she was pregnant. And she never had it any other time. So, I believe in that stuff.

Ingrid then took Plan B--which I later found out only works in 7 out of 8 women, so that made me a tad nervous--but she still feels weird.

Would this be so bad generally? No. If she were on birth control, I probably wouldn't think too much of it, even though that is how my friend Laney got pregnant. Both had complete and utter stupid moments though during this (no, I wasn't watching or something, Ingrid filled me in immediately)--1) Kaj said he didn't use a condom and "didn't pull out in time,"--am I the only one who was listening in health class? The "pull out" method? Are we still in high school?, 2) Kaj asked, "Women can only get pregnant really a couple days before their period though, right?" Ingrid actually had double-check with me to make sure this was true--which of course it isn't. I told them I'm enrolling them in "Rae's Sexual Health 101" ASAP.

AND YET...it manages to get worse. Ingrid takes Plan B yesterday and then this morning (!) THEY DO IT AGAIN! No condom. Still no freaking birth control. Not even an attempt at the stupid-ass "pull-out" method.

Ingrid is now freaked out, and she doesn't get her period for 3 weeks, so she can't even take a pregnancy test for at minimum a week, plus she's moving in about 12 days. So, you can only imagine her stress level. And mine. I'd end up taking care of the damned thing (this is not much of an exaggeration).

I almost think Kaj is, in his fucked-up way, trying to do something that makes Ingrid stay here instead of moving. It's the dumbest way I've ever heard of...but that's how it goes I guess.

This is killing my own libido too. I was a little weirded out when Laney got pregnant, but she's nearly 2000 miles away from me so I didn't experience that full-out. This? I feel like it is Dolby Surround-Sound and Technicolor blaring at me. I'm getting a stomachache just thinking about it. Over the weekend I was quite horny. Insanely horny in fact (sidenote--Kaj said to me today, "I think it is great that you think about sex as much as I do"--I feel a little screwed up that I found that to be a compliment, but I still got warm and fuzzy because of it), and in SUCH an "anal" mood. I was too lazy to break out the anal beads, but I was doing some finger playing for sure.

Then this hit...and seriously, this is anything shows how NOT ready for children I am. My libido takes a nosedive when I think of my best friend getting pregnant? Yeah, probably a sign for waiting on the children front.

I swear, this week has actually made me glad I am a virgin--in a totally different way than normal. I may actually have to start up praying for this damned situation. Probably without saying "damned" though. :-)

Post-Exam Update

Sorry I haven't written anything since the Bar finished up at the end of July. Just quick update, because I haven't quite gotten all of my mental capacities back yet and so I haven't been prepared to come back full force or anything. In fact, the first time I'd gotten off in THREE WEEKS was Saturday. Holy crap. I got off three times, but it had been so long the first time practically hurt it was so good. The other two were just as good too.

The Bar Exam went well, but I don't find out if I actually passed until October, so that's frustrating. Now I'm looking for a full-time job, but until that happens I'm spending as much time with Kaj and Ingrid and Cha-Cha until Ingrid eventually moves to Florida.

I want to do some of the following...

-Commentary on Kaj and his ability to influence my belief in what I need in the right man for me
-Kaj's cute roommate (unfortunately with a girlfriend) and my new crush on him (it's been awhile since I've had a really proper crush, not counting Naughty since that wasn't exactly a crush--PS, it is his birthday tomorrow, so Happy Birthday to him)
-Sex, sex, and more sex of course!

I'll be back soon more regularly, but for now I'm just trying to enjoy some time with friends while it is nice out and feel like I am getting just a little bit of a summer! :-)

Write me (email is on my profile) or comment. Hopefully you're still around! :-)

Checking Out for the Next Three Weeks

Well, next week starts the "official" study system for my Bar Exam. This means, that I will be limiting (or trying to) my online time and also means that I will be leaving you all until my Bar Exam finally finishes up on the 29th of July. I have a LOT of work to do before then! Trust me, after today's study session I have more than a lot. I have TONS.

Remind me why I went to law school again? Oh yeah, to avoid the real world for three more years. Yikes. It bites ya in the ass when it finally catches up!

I am goint to TRY to find some erotica entries in either my mind, or in old archives of things before the weekend so I can put them up easily over the next three weeks so you don't forget about me completely. :-) We shall see. You may only get one...or five...or none, one never knows what I'll find.

Interesting aside: heard from Naughty again. I just don't have the energy to talk about it at the moment. Wasn't bad though. Not truly. It was easy to fall back into talking with him, which I suppose is understandable since we really were great friends for a year and I told him everything during that time. He said he missed that...amongst other things (use your imagination). I can't think about it though, and it wasn't final or un-final really so I don't know what will happen there. I just have to concentrate completely on my studies for one more month. I can do anything well for a month, right? No...I should say that I can do anything well. Period.

I re-read Illusions by Richard Bach and was re-reminded why it is one of my absolute favorite books. It was seriously a needed read. It's philosophy/theology in a way, and I just feel soothed and calmer for having read it. I might re-read it again this month.

Ok, hopefully you will see some erotica up here (it will be here, and not on the Erotica blog so that we don't all get confused when I forget to link the erotica blog) in the next few weeks. W

Wish me luck!

Dear Master...

A fun little something that I found going through some old things. Basically, I'm a tad lazy while working on the Bar Exam, so you're just going to get some old stuff that I haven't ever posted. Kind of a fun one. I've been feeling a little dominant lately (trying to be strong for the Bar I think), but this is a bit of a fun change to submission--pretty extreme submission in some parts. Haven't been horny as usual lately, but the stress is hitting me hard this week--officially less than a month until the Big Test. Oy.

Enjoy, you know I hate to leave you all hanging. Just imagine me kneeling, wrists locked behind me, collar on, head bowed in submission, in leather panties, my breasts tight and nipples hard, and explaining what I did for the day. Just a suggestion... :-)

I showered this morning, climbing under the hot stream and letting my own hot stream of piss wash away in the water, imagining you below me and feeling how good it would feel to piss while I squirted all over you. Remembered how sexy it felt that you wanted me to do that during our play this morning. You are so amazing to me Master. *kisses you softly where your chest and neck meet*

I admit, sir, I nearly forgot to not wear panties. I began to take them from my drawer, but remembered before they had even cleared the dresser and I put them back, pulling on a pair of black short and a white tank top, layered with a black tank top. I had to hurry as the interior designer was due to knock on the door in just a few moments. *offers my naked breast to you to suckle*

I met with the designer and then hurried back downstairs to photograph my ass labeled with your mark of "HIS." It wasn't easy, but I marked myself in permanent marker with the word and took a picture. *offers my ass for you to spank, right over the word "HIS"*

I forgot to do one thing though Master. I forgot to spank myself ten times. I'm very sorry sir, I suppose I rushed too quickly through my shower to do it. I will understand if you have to punish me, and I will remember to make myself a list of those things that you ask me to do from now on. No matter how little time I have, I want to please you very badly. If you would like me to take another shower and complete my task I will do that sir. Or I could take my paddle to my backside. I am very sorry again Master.

I'm very wet right now sir. So wet for you right now, just remembering all the things you wanted me to do today. All the things I did...and the one thing I did not do, that I am ashamed to have forgotten. My sex is throbbing for you, wanting you inside of me so much. Needing you inside of me. May I ask you to instruct me when I may swear sir? When I may use dirty words to refer to the things we do to each other? That would excite me. I'm panting just thinking about it. I do not know why it excites me so, but I would like to try that some time if you would be willing.

Happy 2nd Blogiversary!

Today is by second blogiversary! I didn't realize this until yesterday when I saw that my dear A. Secret had just had her second blogiversary! Happy Blogiversary A. Secret! Thank you so much to my dear, dear readers, who make writing this worth it. Especially, Riff Dog, The Naughty One, Clem, JC (that isn't Jesus Christ), JH, A. Secret as mentioned above, Miss Belle, Shay, Eddie, and probably a few dozen others that I know I'm forgetting, but those are some of the people who have been there since the beginning or close to and stayed with me through it all. Thanks to you all for being such sexy men and women!

I have an erotica entry to put up, just in celebration, but I'm going to post it on here AND on the Erotica blog in celebration of the day. I remember when I started writing, thinking things were going one place, and I really ended up getting even more out of this than I ever thought. I'm still pretty proud of how far I've come in this whole thing, even though I've really fallen off on posting regularly. I'm guessing that is going to continue for awhile, just because of studying for my Bar Exam (which is seriously doing a number on my libido! Either I'm horny as hell all the time or can't even imagine getting off!).

HOWEVER...I do quite like the scene that I've written up--you know how I love discussing and writing about blow jobs, and it is exactly what it is about. For your enjoyment:

I can hear the groans coming from the other room when I walk in the door. It's so silent, the air conditioner off, the noises from the street blocked out by the walls. All I hear is the clock steadily ticking, the soft tick-tock-tick practically keeping time to the occasional moan on the other side of the half-closed bathroom door. I silently remove my shoes and silently shut the door. I silently place my purse on the floor. And just as silently I remove my shirt, because I know that groan. I can practically smell the sex mixed in with the spicy sent of his bodywash eminating from the bathroom. I'm left in only my bright blue bra and jeans. I didn't even wear panties that day, because I'd just shaved myself smooth that morning and wanted the feel of the hard seam of the jeans teasing my clit while I walk.

My bare feet pad across the cool ceramic tiles of the floor until I can see into the steamy bathroom in the crack in the door. He's stroking himself, but it's practically unconsciously. One hand is running a comb through his hair, that's just a little too long because he hasn't had it cut in awhile. The other is stroking his cock, the hardness pushing straight up to rest against his belly whenever he's not touching it. I can see how rigid it is, and I lick my lips in anticipation. My clit is already throbbing. I love watching him cum from his own hand. Sometimes it is almost better than anything, and the voyeuristic bent right now is driving me wild, making me feel like a stranger watching something I shouldn't be, but unable to turn away. He stops stroking, and puts his contacts in. He starts again, and I feel my fingers fumble on the button of my jeans, releasing it and then as silently as I can pulling my zipper down tooth by tooth. One hand strokes while the other dries his chest, then his hair, with his towel. It's like stroking his shaft is just part of his morning ritual. He doesn't even seem to notice, until suddenly his stomach clenches and he seems to shudder with another groan. He watches himself for a moment, as though just realizing what he is doing, but then he continues to ready himself for the rest of the day. After another few minutes he is finished with his routine, and he automatically stops jerking on his glorious, hard cock. I almost whimper in disappointment, and push the door open. I need more.

"Don't stop on my account," I tell him, and he looks up in surprise. Part of me wants to touch him, to wrap him in my arms from behind and take over the job, but right now I need to watch. He gets that devilish look in his eye, and his hand takes the towel and begins rubbing non-existent water from his chest.

"This?" he asks, and I nearly growl. But I can play that game too, and I push my jeans down my legs and kick them off. The towel drops.

"No," I say, and let my fingers wander down my stomach and over the soft smoothness of my pussy, dipping dangerously into my went cunt just for his eyes. His hand returns to his cock then, and he gives in just like that. He knows I love to watch.

His hand moves slowly, up and down his shaft, langorous in his movements and it drives me crazy, so I spread my legs between the door frame and finger my clit, groaning out as much for effect as for actual need. His hand moves faster then, and I see the precum begin to leak from the tip, making my mouth water and my head reel with the desire to lick every inch of his body--starting right at the tip of his cock. I encourage him by playing with myself and his fingers start to move faster, stopping every so often to spread the precum around the tip of his cock and making me shake with need. I want his fingers on me, in me. In every hole in my body until I'm screaming and cumming, but I want his cum so much more.

I stop my fingers, even though I'm so close to cumming, and step across the room. "Not good enough," I whisper, before I'm on my knees, my fingers raking down his back to his ass and pulling his cock into my mouth in one smooth movement. His hips flex and he pushes all the way into my throat. I can practically feel in him my cunt while he's in my mouth, feel him pumping in and out of both holes, and I pull one hand from his ass, where I have him grasped against me as hard and as far as I can get him into my body. I cup his balls, feel them pull tighter to his body, as I pull back finally and let my teeth very lightly scrape along the underside, then letting my tongue flick against that tip just at the back of the head of his cock--letting it press harder, and pushing one finger just barely into his ass...

Then he's cumming and I'm drinking him down. Feeling him cumming in my mouth as well as the phantom feel of him cumming deep in my cunt. The feeling is too much and I start to drown in my own orgasm. I'm screaming and choking around his cum spewing down my throat and his hands are on my head while he groans so loud and I'm fairly sure neighbors in three counties can hear him. I collapse farther on the floor, swallowing all his hot cum, and leaving his cock in my mouth, just where I want it.

He lets his cock sit there in my slutty mouth, and he is half collapsed against the shower door. His cock is going soft, nearly flaccid now, but I look up at him as he looks down, still sucking on his cock like a lollipop and I feel harden.

"Again..." he demands.

Who am I to deny him?

New Erotica Post Today

There is a new erotica post up today. Something I found among some old documents that I hadn't posted. A little dirty, but we always love those don't we? :-) Hopefully I'll run across some more to post up too!

Fucking the Babysitter...and other fun porn searches

So, for a couple years a was a bit fan of e-books. I'm still a fan, but I don't buy them as much as I do regular books. I like to have the tangible. But one of the e-books I purchased was "Babysitting for the Baumgarten's" by Selena Kitt. She writes really amazing erotica if you haven't heard of her. I purchased the book after reading an excerpt. You can find the first few chapters here. Seriously...so, so, so hot. Those first few chapters barely do it justice it is so good. I recommend a purchase if you're into that sort of thing.

It is one of my staples for masturbation actually. And that brings me to my own relationship with porn.

See, I'm a pretty visual girl. I get turned on by all my senses, but I really do love the ease of watching porn. In fact, I would be willing to bet that I watch as much porn as any of the guys out there. Seriously. Lately though, I just haven't been able to easily find what I want to watch and haven't really been able to decide what I want to watch anyway. Usually I go through times of really loving one thing--office sex, creampies, glory holes, whatever. But I've been looking at lots of different things because I can't find enough of the amateur stuff that I like. The pro stuff is fine and all, but I really prefer to see actual everyday people fucking or sucking or creaming. Today alone, with two separate instances of getting off, I looked at bareback gay porn, gloryholes, anal, creampie, Daddy Dom (which pretty much only brings up gay porn in the places I'm looking, or pro--which has not been good), and office. Oh, and prostate massage jack offs. Yeah, just a little bit diverse there. I just couldn't find what I really wanted to watch, so I decided that perhaps I should be reading something since I can't find what I'm looking for.

Creampies are my standard usually, in any way I can find them, but since YouPorn went to almost entirely professional (at least that I can find--all my absolute favorites are no longer there and it saddens me! Except the double pussy penetration that is just fabulous on there), I have a tough time finding really good ones. The best part is hearing a guy cumming deep inside a woman's pussy, and seeing the base of his cock right outside of her pussy pulsing hard as he cums...holy crap. Apparently I'm going to have to cum three times (or four) today.

So, I went back to Selena's story today (and nearly panicked cause I couldn't find the password right away for it), and read and read and read. Frankly, I played with myself for nearly fifty minutes before coming because it felt so fabulous imagining each of the scenes with me being in either of the female positions. Made me like the idea of a threesome (and I don't think I'm giving too much away there) all the more. Haha. I'm literally getting wet again thinking of the erotic and amazing scenes that are in that book. Like dripping, and might have to go and cum again even though I just came thirty minutes ago.

Can you tell I'm in a terribly horny mood? Like beyond turned on from nothing at all. I've even been feeling a bit more likely to write some erotica again, as it has been more than six months since I have posted anything in that regard. I won't promise anything, but some things have been mulling around in my mind.

So...okay, talking about it is just turning me on more. I'm going to go get off. :-)