Boycotting Valentine's Day?

Valentine's has never really bothered me until this year. I blame this 1) on Naughty, 2) on the fact that all of my friends have Valentine's this year (!), which I swear has never happened before, and 3) on the movie, "He's Just Not that Into You."

We all know why I blame Naughty, and the second one isn't hard to figure out...but it also goes back to number 1 anyway, because I probably wouldn't notice as much if it weren't for Naughty's defection.

For #3, I just saw that movie, and while I think it had some empowerment moments (i.e., you should never be the "rule" for a man and settle, you should be the exception to everything for the right man), it also had these moments of utterly destroying hopefulness. It was a movie that afterwards I thought, "I hate men right now. Hell, I sort of hate women too. I hate dating. It sucks, it's stupid, and men play way more games with a woman than a woman could ever play with a man (and we let them! And expect it!)."

It was a movie that also shows that men have way more power than women. Yes, partially because we let them.

I walked out pissed as all hell at Naughty, and pissed at my friend Ingrid for the shit she pulls on her boyfriend, and pissed at my friend ChaCha for the same thing (she and Ingrid tend to treat their boyfriends kind of shabbily), and pissed at the movie for taking away all of the good things I was still thinking about Naughty. Makes me feel like I was foolish to believe anything he said--at least for probably the last six months of the relationship. There weren't really any mixed signals for the first six months, I knew there was love and delight in me and he cared deeply for me. But the last six months...? Ah, the last six months were a veritable smorgasbord of mixed signals, and I had to make a whole hell of a lot of excuses for him much of the time. Now, I can't say he didn't care for me, because I don't think that just goes away, and I would still say now that he cares for me, but that movie definitely made me think he wasn't into me like I was into him.

I really hate that it made me think that because I am quite a bit of an optimist, and frankly I LIKE being an optimist. I don't think I run into the naive territory, but I definitely err on the side of optimism versus negativity. I spent quite a bit of time in my life being a bit cynical, and wrapping that around myself in many ways as a protection, but I always felt a bit mean and a bit ridiculous being as cynical as I was and I feel like between Naughty and that damned movie I am moving back into the world of cynicism.

It makes my heart hurt to be that cynical. It makes me want to cry most of the time, that that is something that was taken away from me (even if it is temporary--and I have enough optimism left in me to believe it will be). I'm still feeling angry and weepy because of the whole situation...and Valentine's sure as hell doesn't help when their seems to be a bombardment of romantic movies and things all over the place that I never really noticed in years past.

Weepy, cynical, and angry...is it any wonder I'm trying to boycott thoughts of Valentine's this year?