That Green-Eyed (no, not one-eyed) Monster

I found on EroGarden (one of my faves) an amusing story about using jealousy to seduce one's man. I read it and its education on using subtle cues (not lies though, that was key) to get a man's imagination going and make him jealous.

Some of the ideas (if you don't want to pop over and read it) included changing up the usual program for Friday night and saying you can't go out that night because you just want to stay in and read a great book that you are so into (I thought this could maybe fall into the white lie category--and you better be a fairly decent reader I figure for this particular example), or whathaveyou. You play a bit on insecurities, make him think about his appreciation for you and how much he cares for you and really wants to spend time with you--no matter if its another dull Friday night or not.

Also: not checking your messages in front of him anymore (I didn't quite get that one), not talking about your day--waiting until he asks about it, getting a guy to make eye contact with you--but not letting your man see you making the eye contact so it just looks like the guy is staring at you, having a friend mention that some guy was asking about you.

I was able to think, "Ah, what a brilliant idea! Yes, yes, I can see why that would work."

And then I thought about actually doing it to someone and thought...well, hell I wouldn't be able to pull any of those off!

I am not really that subtle. I have never mastered the art of feminine mystique (not feminist mystique, mind you). That isn't to say I don't know how to manage coy or flirty and the varied mystery that goes with those skills. Frankly, having seen many of my female friends who have mastered the ability to play a bit of those games (and that is exactly what those jealous-schemes are, let's not lie), are that they do not tend to have the same taste in men that I have. They attract the type of man who sometimes they don't even like!

Back to the fact that I'm not subtle--I'm a talker. I tend to babble (I know, you're shocked). I babble when I'm nervous, I babble if there is tension, I just tend to talk and talk and talk if I'm uncomfortable in a non-angry way (even more so than when I'm just telling a story). Naughty can attest to the fact that I can talk/write about nothing forever when I am chatting about my day. He is not as much of an emailer as I am, so it probably seems extremely unbalanced. Oddly, he seems to like that I babble, but frankly I would so end up with all of those things mentioned above backfiring on me BIGTIME.

That thing about making eye contact without him NOTICING that you're making eye contact. Definite backfire moment for me. It would be embarrassing, because I would forget when to stop looking--I wouldn't know how long to look to make sure that the guy kept looking at me. I can see it now--and it's not good.

It definitely wouldn't work while Naughty and I are away from each other, anyway, but the waiting until he asks about my day? Maybe I could do it when we are in front of each other, but with the way I can talk about nothing? He'd think something was wrong with me. He'd probably think I lost my voice! :-P

Not checking the messages...well, I still don't quite understand that one. I could see starting to check your message in front of him...but really, I just don't get that one. Plus, I think checking messages (unless you are waiting for a really important one--or on Blackberry messenger just being nice and saying, "Sorry, can't talk right now") when out with other people is incredibly rude. I have been known to do it on occasion, but generally I will only allow myself to do it if all my friends have already started checking their messages and therefore I am having to sit there silently feeling like an idiot. Yeah, that's a curse of Blackberries--and of all my friends having Blackberries (yes, I know we are all spoiled rotten).

The article DOES specify that jealousy-inducing schemes are certainly able to backfire, but I think my problem is that the entire thing does play on insecurities. It exploits them.

Trust me when I say I do NOT need anyone exploiting my insecurities. Getting my imagination going? Disastrous. I can go from zero to one-fifty in about 3.2 seconds flat. I'm the freaking Lamborghini Murcielago of imaginariums.

Yeah, I realize that metaphor isn't really working that well...we're still going to go with it.

Why I would want to put anyone into the same position of letting their imagination take shape of the bad things that could happen is beyond me. Trust is a very fragile thing to me. The idea that one person can trust another so much that (and I literally quote this from someone) they wouldn't question that person "standing naked in a room with a man who is also naked" is absolutely beyond me. Unless you are a nudist or the significant other is clearly being taken advantage of in the room, I think that is an impossible thing to ask. If you got yourself into that situation (without advantage having been taken), then you best not get pissed off if your significant other gets angry about that. Like, realllllyyyyy. *rolls eyes*

I give props to anyone who can actually manage to induce jealousy in their significant other without actually placing tension on the strains of trust...I am not subtle enough or brave enough to risk something like trust for the sake of bringing him closer. I would really rather figure out a different way for that.

Like talking....LOL, yeah I know, guys are not really supposed to be that great at that either. :-) *sigh* I guess I'll just have to figure out a different way.