Leaving on a Jet Plane...

Well, here I am, headed out to La Chita Eterna, better known as Rome, Italy. I'm going with friends to study abroad in Rome, with stopovers in Iceland, London, and Greece afterwards. I use the term "study" lightly, because the last time I studied abroad, our teachers took us out to the pub the first day of class after we'd all introduced ourselves. I hardly think that will be what happens this time (I attend a Catholic law school--they are definitely drinkers, but the Deans of the schools who are teaching us are hardly going to encourage and pay for our drinking), but it's a nice thought.

So, whoever is reading this (and I believe at the moment it's only me) probably is wondering where the hell the "Sexual awakening" part of this whole blog is. Well...I will gladly admit that I'm a bit nervous to be posting some of my more personal bits and pieces, or frankly discussing. Apparently I need a sexual awakening, yes? But I'll get there. It just takes me a bit.

I mentioned the fact that I have two friends with opposing viewpoints of what I should be doing the moment I get around those supposed "Italian Stallions." One thinks I need to fuck anything that moves, the other thinks I need to wait it out and wait until I have that he's the "One" moment (no matter where it is). I also have a third friend who definitely gives me the most practical advice and says that I shouldn't go in thinking either way, and if it happens and I'm comfortable with it happening, then it's cool and if not it's cool too.

I think I'll be doing that one.

But of course, I'll let you know. Assuming my professors aren't taking me out and getting me drunk everyday. :-)

Computer stupidity and the oldest virgin...

Sometimes I despise my computer. Okay, so it also gets me through the day most of the time because I have a minor case of A.D.D. that my computer encourages entirely. The point of this rant? I have had my laptop for about 10 months, and yesterday it stopped working completely. No warning. No nothing. Simply turned it off Wednesday night and it wouldn't turn back on on Thursday morning. Great. I had a slowness issue with it my entire first semester of law school (just finished my first year) and had to get a new hard drive in the damn thing. And guess what? I had to get a new hard drive this time too. I'm not much of a technophile (there would be no blog if there wasn't a simple way for me to do it), but I'm sort of thinking three hard drives in the same computer does not bode well for the continued success of this piece of machinery over the next two and a half years.

And next on the agenda. I am well aware that I am not the oldest virgin in the world (there have to be some virgin nuns out there older than me), but occasionally it does feel as though I am the oldest one who isn't hanging onto it for any particular reason other than lack of partners. Isn't virginity supposed to turn guys on? (although I'm not so sure the guys who are out searching for virgin pussy are the ones I should be concerning myself with).

And here is my bigger question...what constitutes a virgin anymore? I guess it can be a personal opinion thing, I personally consider virginity not to be that darn little hymen thing separating the men from the women (hey, that's kind of true actually) but the actual physical and emotional connection of first time for either a man or a woman. Cause if it's just the hymen, this entire blog post is moot. That sucker is long gone--among my best friends I definitely consider myself to be the most proficient in sex toy knowledge and experience. Ironic, I know, since I'm the least experienced in the actual sex part.

My own virginity (if seen through my personal view) is a somewhat debated thing amongst my friends in fact. At least, the friends who know (I can speak surprisingly eloquently about my "experience" without actually saying I've not done crap beyond second base when I don't want it to be an issue in a conversation). I have one of my best friends saying to me, since I'm going abroad to Itally for a study program next week, that I MUST get laid while I am there and throw off the cloak of virginity. Strangely enough, she is literally the LAST person I would have ever thought would say that to me. She has an uber-romantic streak like I do, so I won't lie and say that the possibility of never having sex with anyone but my future husband (for my love of sex toys I'm surprisingly romantically-conventional), seems ridiculously appealing. But there is another part of me that says, "Well, Christ, if I still haven't had a proper sexual experience at this point, when the hell am I going to be meeting my future husband?! I can't wait until I'm 30 to have sex!" (and if that happens I'm hiring a gigolo).

Another of my friends is with me on the staying a virgin until it's "right" and not just throwing it away. Gotta say, even though she hasn't known me a tenth as long as my best friend who is gung ho for the virgin-losity, I'm sort of leaning towards that at the moment. That, of course, isn't to say there aren't some other fun things I'd be willing to do over in Italy. I better learn some Italian slang fast though, if I'm not taking things full-out.

Ugh, I feel like I make no sense at the moment. This is what I get for writing when it's damned near the middle of the night and I was up at the butt-crack of dawn.

Undoubtedly, more on this subject later--it's one of my favorites. I am seriously in need of sleep.

Hello, hello...

So, the inevitable question is: why start a blog? I suppose I could give you any number of reasons, all of which would probably be partially true, but I think it really boils down to the fact that I wanted to do a "journal" type situation that actually has an audience other than myself, who can actually respond and who don't really know me either. I love my friends, obviously, but sometimes you just need to stranger's opinion on things. And it's cheaper (and I think more helpful to me personally) than a therapist, if that happens to be what I need during a blog post.

Or else I'm a narcissist...which let me tell you, may very well be the case.

I consider myself to be two things most of the time: 1) a writer (first and foremost, and maybe not even writer, but storyteller is more appropriate), and 2) a ridiculously sexual being. That's "sexual" not "sexy." Actually, sexy is about the last thing I consider myself (ooh, surprise: body issues, but trust me they are hard-earned body issues that have been developing first grade--mainly because I'm not the only one with issues with my body)

But I am sexual (you'll also notice I'm a "tangent" kind of person--I apologize now). In fact, considering I'm a virgin (yep, but that's a whole other post), I'm about the horniest damned person I know. This is saying something as well, because I know some damned horny people. I wasn't always this way, it's been slowly developing since I was in college--and even since about my senior year of high school, which is about the time I started masturbating regularly.

So, after reading any number of "sex" blogs (I love Shay's S Spot, and What My Friends Don't Know, and I Love Panty Lines, among others), I thought, why not? I like to write, I like to talk about my ideas and opinions, and I am more comfortable doing the two together rather than actually speaking. So, I'll write my opinions, my experiences, with both sex and with actual fiction writing (I am fully determined, and think I have at least a chance, of being both a romance and erotic-romance writer), because those two things are pretty important in my life.

I'm 23, my name is Rae, and welcome to my blog.