Virgin Extraordinaire

I have recently begun reading a blog by Ms. Virgin, who happens to have a great deal in common with me, so her blog tends to “speak” to me. :-) Very appropriate for the name of her blog.

In one of her entries she spoke about the debate she has with her friends on whether or not she can possibly be as horny as they are, since she isn’t having sex. They of course say nay, and she says yea.

I have to agree with her, and have been thinking about this ever since I read that entry. One of the things that surprises me about people is that they immediately equate virgin with utter lack of sexual experience. Words that come to mind for a lot of people about virgins are naiveté, religious, out-of-the-loop, inexperienced. This is just my own experience, I’m sure there are many others (but really why do I need to list anything beyond what I’m going to talk about?).

Let’s be crazy and not start with the first in the list (my English teachers would scold me), let’s go with….religious, first off. In case you were not aware—I’m not religious. I would classify myself closest to agnostic, but I definitely lean towards the atheistic side of agnostic. I have no desire to save myself for marriage. I fully believe you should try the milk before buying the cow (oh god, I just realized how offensive that is), and test-drive the car before purchase…please insert any other awkward metaphor here. I’m sure it’s a by-product of our society that they think the only people who can possibly still be virgins are those who are saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons. Pshaw. Some of us just haven’t had too many opportunities handed to us on a platter.

All right, let’s go with the naiveté and inexperienced (oh, hell and out-of-the-loop) side of things (since they really are the same in a lot of ways). Um, I’m not sure if you’ve been reading the blog long, but do I sound inexperience or naïve in any way? Yes, I don’t physically know what it is like to have a hot, hard cock inside my pussy—at least not with a being attached to the other side of it. The best example I have seen of being judged naïve by friends because I have not had sex (mind you this is from two of my closest friends at the time), is after my best friend had sex at the end of our Freshman year of college. It was the night before her parents came down to move her out of the dorm and she was super excited and shared all with me…and then the next year, when we lived together with another friend of ours I was suddenly “The Virgin.” Not to my face, ever, but my BF started consulting our other friend and having little tête-à-têtes with her about sex. I felt like Cher in Clueless when Dionne starts asking Tai for sex advice. I won’t lie, it hurt my feelings to be so completely excluded from those discussions and for them to stop talking about it when I knocked on the door. Suddenly my ears are virginal because you’ve both had sex and I haven’t? Excuse me? Who is the one who couldn’t say “finger” and would never in her life admit to having masturbated until after she got married? Well that sure as hell wasn’t me.

My presumption is that they were trying not to discuss it much in front of me to spare me thoughts of wistfulness. Seriously I don’t know who they thought I was that year, but they clearly didn’t think I was me.

I am so not inexperience or naïve. I read about sex constantly, I bought a book about Female Ejaculation to try and learn to do it. I was always the first to ask the sex questions in “Never Have I Ever” and I make so secret of my use and enjoyment of sex toys. I usually masturbate three times a day. And would definitely do it more if I didn’t have school. The thing is, is that because people tend to not consider masturbation sexual experience, they don’t count it towards sexual knowledge either. I’m telling you, I know a hell of a lot more about sex than my two best friends, who are both in relationships and having regular sex than they do. I’ve researched, I’ve tried it out on toys, I have admitted to them both that I want to try anal and am currently searching out a toy to get me started in the process. Where the hell does knowing what you want and making it happen…even if it isn’t with another person…make for naiveté/inexperience/etc?

Even today I have stopped arguing the point with my girlfriends that I can easily be as horny if not more so than they. I crave Mr. Darcy (the vibrating-dildo). I craved Athena (the fave pocket-rocket) in the middle of the night and got up to use her, last night (Tangent: I have found I really, really enjoy using my toys in what is essentially doggy-style…yeah, I use my toys in more than one position…I come so hard. Same with “girl-on-top.” They just aren’t always the most practical way to watch porn/read erotica at the same time, unfortunately--but I wasn't doing either last night, so doggy-style was awesome. I come longer too in that position).

I know I don’t get to have the emotional aspect of things like my best friends do—and maybe that is the horny feeling they are experiencing that I don’t get yet. But orgasm-for-orgasm, I guarantee I’m just as horny as they are.

And frankly, when it comes to losing my virginity (ya’know, to an actual man), I think I can safely say I’m not going to be as nervous as some. I’m going to know what goes where and how to get it there, and I’m going to worry about getting my rocks off too, even though virgins (except in romance novels) are infamous for not getting theirs their first time.

I don’t know, maybe I should ask you, dear readers…think I’m as horny as the average woman who has already had sex? I’m fairly sure I am (particularly since I’m wet most of the day), but maybe there is something I am missing about myself that comes out in my writing. AND, what was your horniness level when you guys and gals were all virgins? Particularly those who waited a little longer than the “average”?